Believe in Me.

This house is so negative.
I feel constricted.
  I feel trapped.
     I feel helpless.
        I feel angry.
            I feel disgusted.

I need to get out.

I am getting an apartment in August with my best friend, but neither my mom nor my dad thinks I can do it. Right now they think it's just a dream not a reality. I don't think it's wholly because they don't want me to go, or they think it's a bad financial decision, I think they just don't believe I can do it.

It's no surprise to anyone that I'm not the best with money, at least not saving. I just keep praying that this will work out and that I can save enough so that I will be out from under their thumb. I know the apartment won't be what I imagine, and real life will suck but I'm tired of explaining to everybody that I'm the only townie that is living at home (not an exaggeration, I haven't met one that doesn't live in the dorms or apartment). 

Fuck it. I'm doing this for me. And maybe a little to spite them. 

Goals

This has been a crazy, strange summer. I'm not sure what I was expecting because I am of course in between HS and college. People have been growing up a lot this summer and that influences even more change to happen. I feel like I've gotten a lot done, both with my material self and my mind. I am very excited to start college. I think and hope it will be fun and interesting, but I'm also planning on learning a lot. As many know, I am doing part time at both Ivy Tech and IU. I was kind of disappointed at first but now, I am actually very excited and am looking forward to it. Classes start on August 29 so it's just a little over 3 weeks away.

  I have accomplished a lot this summer. I have pretty much finished redoing my room (Just have a mirror situation to take care of). I have gotten my license. I have grown out my hair. I have gotten a tan line. Yes, there are things I've done this summer that I'm both happy and unhappy with.

Things I am still very much wanting to complete before school: Make my Halloween costume and another dress I have. Completely make my own garment from sketch to finish. Start working again. Save money... I am such a bad saver. Buy a laptop... and find out I have a rich relative who decides they want to put me through college. 

Wowzers!

I've been a high school graduate for four days. What have I gotten done?

-Completely re-did my room including painting my bed (I still have to do some patching and buy a new mirror and dresser.)
- finished all my thank-you cards and am about to send them out
- finished filling out all that health information necessary for IU
- thought about taking my driver's test... soon!
- decided I AM going blonde... soon.
- Acquired many many freckles
and I've done all this while basically watching my 3 (almost 4) year old niece. It's nice to be a favorite aunt but... I feel like a mother already. She wears you out!

As soon as I get my new dresser and mirror I will put up a post about my room because I think it looks damn fab. BTW, does anybody know where to look for a solid upright wooden dresser without DAMN LAMINATE ON TOP? seriously, been to at least five large furniture places (new and used) and haven't found anything... Heading up to Elletsville tomorrow so wish me luck.

I think I need to start a new project... I've already started my junkie summer diet and watching tv a lot. I do start camp next week and the Orlando the next week so I probably won't have too much time to keep up this awful behavior but seriously. I think I'll go to the Y tomorrow or something...

Also, for all you townies, I tried Subacos in the mall today (vegetarian taco), and while the price was not too bad the food was. It was not very tasty and my mom (chicken sub) said it was really dry.

OK, more later maybe!

Hiatus

Yeah I know this is my first post in about ten years but I've been really busy.

Things that have happened:
- It's a Wonderful Life
- Finishing school (THREE DAYS TIL I'M DONE WITH IT!)
- Renovating my room for the first time in about three years (will do a post on this when it is complete)
- Making my own prom dress (Does anybody want to see a post on that? I didn't really take pictures (I know I'm an awful DIY-er), but I could still do a post on that and/or my feather capelet).
- Contemplated going blonde. Thoughts?
- Got sort of tan!
- Given 11 speeches. GOODBYE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING!
- Bought a new phone... it's android.
- Other stuff that I cannot really think of right now...


So you can see I've been really busy being awesome and shit.

I might attempt to revive the blog during the summer but we shall see.....

Lent

WELL, that failed. This weekend I swear whenever I was hungry the only thing to eat was Dove chocolate... I couldn't resist

SORRY GOD

Review: Revlon Top Speed Nail Polish

Well. I could go through all the trouble of posting pictures of the outcome, but I'll keep this short for the benefit of everybody.

It Doesn't Work.

While the line provides some interesting colours and finshes, the 60 second (or less) dry time is quite the underestimate. The first coat dried in maybe two minutes, which wasn't too bad for polish but with both shades I tried, I needed a second coat. The second coat took almost ten minutes to dry.. 

Bottom line: Don't buy it for the dry time, but as a nail polish line it does offer some great shades!

P.S. If you want your polish to dry quickly, buy Seche Vite top coat.. It actually works! 

My Spring Break!

 I had major plans for this SB... and as of yet none have worked out how I wanted. I originally was planning on doing Disney World for a week with a couple of my friends. That quickly became too expensive. Next, I thought I should go up to Indy with a couple of friends for a couple of days. I'm still waiting to know if my friend can borrow the car so we have transportation. If that falls through, which it probably will, I do have backup plans. On Monday I am definitely going up to Indy for a day with my older sister. And then on Tuesday I am going up with my mom and friend to Midwest Fashion Week, spending the night and then doing shopping the next day. It should be pretty fabulous!

Other goals:

1. Apply or the rest of my available scholarships, I've been putting most off because they include essays. 
2. Make my prom dress. I just finished cutting out the pattern and the fabric is preshrinking as I type. I also need to do my feather capelet, using this. I will let you know how that goes.
3. I need to work this week! I said at least 20 hours but.. with all my traveling I might just say I will work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
4. I really don't remember what else there is to do.. I wish SB was two weeks and then I know I could get everything done.

Ok. Well I think this is all I've got. Enjoy your SB everybody!

Lent

As I am Christian, not Catholic, I don't technically participate in Lent.Or at least not for the same reasons. I think it's interesting to see what I can give up for a month and how hard it can be at times. Before I have gone vegan for Lent, and that was not terrible but it was really hard when I went out to eat. So this year I was planning on giving up soda and candy but as rehearsals for "It's a Wonderful Life" have started this past week, I have come to realize I cannot function without a caffeine boost. Now, I have decided to give up candy and desserts.. starting today. I'm sure this will be hard, but really good for me. I'll let you know how it goes!

LUSH bath and beauty regimen

So I was about to take a bath tonight and then I thought "I should show everybody my LUSH collection! Maybe I can get some more people addicted! And so here you go. Beware though, it can be an expensive addiction to feed...But In my opinion, the product is totally worth the price.

My Lush collection (Bubble bars, bath bombs, bath melts, soap!)

 I do have a rather large collection, most of it is from the 2010 holiday collection, after it was buy one get one free/ half off. I pretty much bought all the bath bombs, a couple of bubble bars, the floating island bath melt and then honey I washed the kids soap.

Holiday Candy Cane Bubble Bar ($6), The Boog Bath Bomb ($7)

For this bath cocktail I used the Candy Cane bubble bar, crumbled under running water; I also used the Boog bath bomb, just tossed into the tub. The bubble bars make really big luxurious bubbles that soften the water. The Boog specifically is a basic bath bomb but has little bubbles of colour in it that turn the water different colours. Both are also scented sweetly.

I did decide to find out why it was the bestselling soap! This is a sample I got from my last order and I didn't like it THAT much. It didn't lather very well and the scent smelled kind of like black cherry and incense..

The Final Product!

Angels on Bare Skin Cleanser ($11)

This is the second package of angels on Bare skin cleanser I've bought and I LOVE it. It has a little bit of exfoliant in it but not too much and it feels really good on your skin, not harsh AT ALL. Also, it may be a little pricey but my other one lasted me literally a year. And then it started molding and I had to throw it out..

Face Masks- Brazened Honey and Oatifix, both about $6

Oh Holy Moly I love these masks! The Brazened Honey one exfoliates and brightens the skin but doesn't have the best scent, and the Oatifix is the best moisturizing mask I have EVER used. It was my savior this winter and it smells delicious! The only downside is they do expire pretty quickly and are only sold in stores because they are made FRESH!

Honey I washed the Kids DUPE body butter ($5)

I bought this because I went through a period where I tried to buy anything that smelled remotely like HiWtK, aka the best scent ever.. Anyway, to be honest it doesn't really smell like HiWtK but it is still a nice scent and is VERY moisturizing. You can find it here in a variety of scents!

Bubblegum Lip Scrub ($9), Holiday Snow Fairy ($6)

This is my evening regimen. the sugar scrub works wonders as it exfoliates and moisturizes, as well as being edible. Then I put on some snow fairy lip tint and my lips are soft for hours!

So that's my collection! LUSH is a little bit more expensive than other brands but there are so many fun products that make me really excited for baths. They are all very good quality, and handmade. Best of all, A lot of them are all natural, some do have chemicals but only where necessary. AND they are animal cruelty free as well as having many vegan products! I LOVE LUSH!

Not So Good.

I feel betrayed, angry, sad, annoyed. I am just so tired of everything that is happening. I think I've made up my mind that I need to go somewhere else to college. No more Bloomington. I need to get away from these people right now. I know I'm sounding really angsty but right now I just want to cry or go to sleep or yell some more. I feel very alone.